It is finally August! August, when an old woman’s thoughts turn to medical testing. You know how we have the best health care system in the world, right? That’s why I’ve been waiting exactly one month to get the treatment I need to take care of my tachycardia. I have an MRI scheduled. Luckily, I am not claustrophobic, and I don’t have any metal plates in my body. I have an electrophysiology study also. Good times.
So, the possible outcomes of this choose your own adventure book? Mysterious but benign: Your flutter was a one shot, so keep taking your meds, go home, and send us a check. Frankenstonian: We see your trouble right there. Let’s just burn/cut off that scar tissue in your heart for you and see if we can’t get this sucker beating right again. Cybernetic: Well, your heart is kind of fucked, and we can’t fix it, but don’t worry, we will build an electric shocker right in to safeguard you against future stoppage.
It has been a month, this July. Don’t leave town, they told me, like I was a murder suspect. I haven’t. The lack of physicality was one of the hardest parts. I have begun walking for a slow, gentle hour or so, split into small, careful, twenty minute intervals. I believe the phrase when I complained to the doctor about my new couch potato status was, “use common sense” when I told him I was done not doing anything.
The worst? I haven’t lifted weights. No amount of wheedling and/or aggravated professorial diction could get the cardiologist to relent. In fairness, it’s probably best if I do not put undue stress upon such an important organ in the face of the unknown. I am famously stubborn, but not infamously so.
Let us speak frankly. I love exercise. Honestly, my weight problems exist because of food, not because of exercise. Genetics may also play a role here. But if I could exercise my way to thinness, it’d be done by now. Under usual circumstances I walk an hour each day at a fairly good clip. I lift weights for another hour and a half every other day, and usually stretch for about half an hour. This is a lot of time to sink into fitness, but I usually manage because I do it over my lunch hours, and that means I have to find about 4.5 hours during the work week to make the weights happen. Obviously, it’s easier in the summer when I am not teaching.
There are loads of benefits to exercise for old people. Aging well means taking care of your body early. We lose a lot of strength as we get into our 40s and 50s, and the way to keep it up, plus help out bone density, is weight lifting. A good fitness regimen is helpful against many common ailments such as heart disease, cancer, and diabetes. You’re still gonna age, but the stronger and fitter you go into it, the more likely it is you’ll keep function.
I know what you’re thinking. Joke’s on you, Schaff-Stump. You have tachycardia. All right, I hear you. Even that crazy intense cross fit trainer Bob Harper had a heart attack. Exercise is not immortality, no more so than kale.
Look, first of all, I don’t dispense medical advice, so I’m not saying exercise is not proof against all health trouble. There’s ultimately a bullet out there with your name on it, so to speak. Bryon, my husband, and I have this philosophy called managing risk. It’s true that people who work out are less likely to have health trouble. Exercise, good nutrition, stress management, down time, balance, these are all things that help, that are proven to help.
What I am saying is this: I take care of my body, more or less. I don’t know what the future holds. I do know my heart is in great shape as far as things like cholesterol and blockages are concerned. Is that a function of the exercise? Dunno, really, but a lot of studies say it helps.
This is the place where I want to encourage all my fellow crones to think about taking walks, lifting weights, doing yoga, whatever it is that pings your car alarm. A strong body that does what you want is a good thing for a crone to have. I’m looking forward to getting mine up and running (see what I did there) and back to the gym as soon as possible.